Saturday, November 3, 2012

How to Screw Up A Saturday

1. Walk into the kitchen to get lunch and notice an aromatic candle that has almost burned down. Think to yourself, "I'm gonna pour off that melted wax so the wick can burn down and I can get every last penny out of that sucker. This'll only take a sec."
2. Pour off wax only piece of paper towel on counter. Quickly realize: Big Mistake.
3. Grab paper towel and hurry to trash can, dripping candle wax all over floor, counter and several utensils on counter.
4. Quickly put towel BACK on counter, where it proceeds to spill over.
5. Grab a spatula and go to work on the floor, scraping off congealed wax.
6. Go look up "how to get candle wax off laminate floors," because it's not all coming up.
7. After 10 minutes with the index in the Home Comforts book that is your bible for all household accidents, say to hell with it.
8. Finish scraping up what your can, vacuum up the rest.
9. Pour yourself a glass of iced tea and make a sandwich.
10. Take a big swig of tea and realize that those little gray specks floating around in your glass are....candle wax.

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